Thursday, February 09, 2006


Now with operatic-jokey goodness

Dima needed some humor! :)
Some of these are pretty old, but if you know opera, you'll get them!

Opera jokes

Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman?
A: Stage makeup.

Q: How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. She holds the bulb while the world revolves around her.

(there is a variation on this one)

Q: How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. She gets her accompanist to hold her Diet Coke for her and watches while the world revolves around her.

Q: What is the difference between a soprano and a Porsche?
A: Most musicians have never been inside a Porsche.

Q: Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale.
A: She was known as the deep C diva.

Q: What is the missing link between the bass and the ape?
A: The baritone.

Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor?
A: About 10 pounds.

Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?
A: When the other tenors notice.

Ever hear the one about the tenor who was so off-key that even the other tenors could tell?

Q: How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to do it, and five to say, "It's too high for him."

Person 1: It must be terrible for an opera singer to realize that he can never sing again.
Person 2: Yes, but it's much more terrible if he doesn't realize it.

Q: Dad, why do the singers rock left and right while performing on stage?
A: Because, son, it is more difficult to hit a moving target.

Q: Mom, why do you always stand by the window when I practice for my singing lessons?
A: I don't want the neighbours to think I'm employing corporal punishment, dear.

Q: How many altos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They can't get up that high.

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

4 Comments:

Blogger Dima said...

BWAHAHAHA! Those are good! One of my roommates from college was a soprano voice major. All those things are true! :)
Thanks, you made my day!

2:34 PM  
Blogger Jim said...

HAHAHA...I wonder if Joan Sutherland knew these...

Now THERE's a dame who could chin-slap ya.

8:34 PM  
Blogger whfropera said...

every time I see her I think...Skeletor!

11:48 PM  
Blogger Canadian Basso said...

awesome. Excuse me while I re-post these... I remember one dirty opera joke, but I'll defer that to my own blog, where I'm comfortable posting smut. :)

11:26 AM  

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